2023-24 NFL SEASON VIBE CHECK
There’s lots of data, analysis, and research that goes into determining how good each team will be, but consider my genius method: are the vibes good or bad?
After an offseason that consisted of yet another wild NFL draft, eventful trades, and what felt like a decade-long preseason…we’ve made it. There is only one more Sunday remaining naked of football, and 7 hours of Redzone awaits.
There have been preseason risers, and preseason fallers. There are the prohibitive favorites to win it all, and well, the Cardinals on the other end of that spectrum. But right now, none of that matters. All that matters is, as a fan, how should you be feeling going into the season?
Thankfully, I’ve taken the time to address just that. I’ll be going through each of the 32 NFL teams and assigning a 1-10 rating of vibes. 10 is good, 1 is bad. Tracking? Alright, let’s do it. But remember, I’m just the messenger.
AFC East
Buffalo Bills, 6.5: The Bills are a Super Bowl favorite, and have one of the three best QBs in the league. Vibes just off that alone can’t be all bad. That said, last year looked like their year. With the Stefon Diggs drama, and the pressure now to deliver a ring, things are getting a little antsy over there.
Miami Dolphins, 6: The Dolphins had a great year last year, but now, they’ve pushed the chips in further. An early injury to Jalen Ramsey, as well as the constant question about Tua’s health, has me a little doubtful they’ll live up to the hype.
New England Patriots, 4: Things are better, but better than awful is a low bar. Mac Jones is by no means the guaranteed future. They haven’t drafted a good WR since the 1800s. They’re on paper the worst team in the division. I’m out.
New York Jets, 7: Aaron Rodgers + Hard Knocks = hype. Simple equation. The offensive line worries me, but honestly, even a playoff spot would be huge for this team. If they can look competent and make the playoffs, I think it’s a big win for them. The Zach Wilson to Aaron Rodgers leap should be noticeable.
AFC North
Baltimore Ravens, 8: The vibes from this division in general are pretty phenomenal, but I love everything that’s happening in Baltimore specifically. Lamar signed his contract, Todd Monken should come in and encourage Lamar to pass (crazy thought), Zay Flowers is HIM…did I forget anything?
Cincinnati Bengals, 7.5: With Ja’Marr Chase and Joe Burrow, the baseline of vibes should always be good. Burrow is a little banged up, but this is (in my opinion) the team to beat in the NFL rn not named the Chiefs. Bengals fans should be as optimistic as ever, maybe minus Joe Mixon existing.
Cleveland Browns, 3: This team deserves every hardship that comes to them. That’s what happens when you give $250M guaranteed to Deshaun Watson. They might be the worst team in their division, and if Deshaun doesn’t look like a world beater, the front office is goneeeee.
Pittsburgh Steelers, 9.5: Few teams have won the offseason in as dominating a fashion as the Steelers have. Kenny Pickett looks like the second coming of Tom Brady, George Pickens is better than Justin Jefferson, and Mike Tomlin doesn’t lose. Steelers vibes are off the charts right now.
AFC South
Houston Texans, 3.5: Whatever the opposite of the AFC North is, it’s this division. The Texans at least have CJ Stroud and Will Anderson to look forward to, but the roster is dogshit, and they don’t have their first round pick for next year. Tough.
Indianapolis Colts, 5: Kinda similar to the Texans, except Anthony Richardson is just a way more exciting player to root for than Stroud. The roster needs a lot of help, which maybe Jim Irsay will invest in. That said, there’s lots of whales out there that need help.
Jacksonville Jaguars, 7.5: In a division of duds, the Jaguars stand out mightily. Trevor Lawrence is getting MVP buzz around the league, and if training camp videos mean anything, Calvin Ridley is the best WR to ever exist. Playoffs are now, somehow, an expectation in Jacksonville.
Tennessee Titans, 3: Will the Titans be good? Maybe. Good enough to fight for a Wild Card spot, at least. But the vibes? They’re awful. Malik Willis and Will Levis make up one of the weirder QB rooms in the league, and the Derrick Henry cliff is coming. At some point. This team could reach blow-up mode pretty quickly if they start slow.
AFC West
Denver Broncos, 2: This team is an absolute shit show. WR injuries have ravaged them, again. Russell Wilson is still himself. Sean Payton is out here calling out former coaches. And oh, hey, 2/5 best QBs in football are in their division. Dear lord, Denver is not where I’d wanna be right now.
Kansas City Chiefs, 9: Let me check. They still won the Super Bowl last year and have Patrick Mahomes locked up for a decade? Ya. Cool. Vibes are immaculate.
Las Vegas Raiders, 3: Well, at least Davante Adams is still on the team and Hunter Renfrow looks fun. The Josh Jacobs hold out, and overall uncertainty about the direction of the team, however, leaves a lot of questions. Jimmy G is not the answer to their desire to be competitive.
Los Angeles Chargers, 7.5: New OC Kellen Moore, as well as first round WR Quentin Johnston, have people (once again) feeling optimistic about the Chargers. Thankfully, this franchise is always super lucky and lives up to all preseason hype. What could go wrong?
NFC East
Dallas Cowboys, 5: The Trey Lance trade was pretty fucking weird, I’m not going to lie. The departure of Kellen Moore, too, isn’t helping. The defense looks like one of the best in the league, but this team just reeks of being a let down. Especially when there’s Super Bowl hopes among fans.
New York Giants, 7: This team arrived a year early last year. Another year with Brian Daboll, was well as a solid draft and the addition of Darren Waller have people believing they might take yet another step forward. I am one of those people.
Philadelphia Eagles, 9: Jalen Hurts is in every commercial known to man, Jason Kelce is back, and the team somehow walked away with Jalen Carter and Nolan Smith in the draft. This roster is fucking stacked, and this season they might actually get to play in some 4th quarters.
Washington Football Team, 4: Sam Howell is drawing lots of praise. I just can’t. Maybe I’ll be wrong here, but I don’t love Ron Rivera led teams and this team needs a lot to go right, particularly with their offensive line, to find success. I just struggle to believe this will be a positive season for them.
NFC North
Chicago Bears, 6.5: Justin Fields showed just enough last season to keep people invested and excited, and then the DJ Moore-led draft haul only built on that excitement. I’m ready to see what happens, but at the very least, watching Justin Fields run should continue to be a joy.
Detroit Lions, 8: The Lions, yes THE LIONS, are favorites to win the division. They add a stacked draft class, too. Their OC is the hottest name in football right now, and Dan Campbell can do no wrong. Let’s see how they handle the expectations.
Green Bay Packers, 8: Could the Packers really have landed a 3rd franchise QB in a row? Jordan Love has looked pretty damn good in the preseason, and the skill room (while young) could be great. The division is up for grabs, and if I’m a Packers fan, I’m 100% thinking “why not us?”
Minnesota Vikings, 5: When is “good enough” actually not good enough? This team could win 12 games, and the division, and I still don’t think anyone would believe in them. That said, they’re loaded at pass catcher, so at least the offense should be fun to watch.
NFC South
Atlanta Falcons, 6.5: Drafting the best prospect at RB since Adrian Peterson allows for a baseline of good vibes. That, plus general optimism about Ridder, have people excited about the Falcons. I’m not quite bought in, but a lax schedule might help. I just want to see more from Kyle Pitts and Drake London.
Carolina Panthers, 4: They have Bryce Young, the #1 QB from the draft, so that’s good. The problem is they’re missing justtttt about everything else. The skill position room is UGLY, and unless Bryce looks like the second coming of Jesus himself, it’s going to be a tough year.
New Orleans Saints, 6: The Saints are the best of a pretty ugly bunch in the South. Derek Carr should be an upgrade over Andy Dalton, and Chris Olave is maybe my favorite player in the NFL, period. That said, hard to imagine this team can even make it passed Wild Card weekend, if they make the playoffs at all.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 2: A QB competition of Baker Mayfield vs. Kyle Trask feels pretty self explanatory here. Maybe Brady will unretire, again.
NFC West
Arizona Cardinals, 3: How is everyone’s favorite to be the worst team in the NFL not the worst in vibes? Well, just circle the date for the 2024 NFL draft Cards fans. The likely #1 overall pick, plus whatever pick the Texans end up with, could spell for a veryyyyy exciting offseason.
Los Angeles Rams, 1: If you can name a player on this roster that isn’t Aaron Donald, Cooper Kupp, or Matthew Stafford, I’ll be impressed. Was the Super Bowl worth it, Rams fans? It better be.
San Francisco 49ers, 7.5: Now that Trey Lance is gone, maybe that will fix the cloud over this team’s QB room. Lord knows Brock Purdy has his own cult following at this point. This team just feels slightly cursed, and only a season of healthy QB play can uncurse them.
Seattle Seahawks, 7.5: The Seahawks seemed to improve all around the roster, and they play in a weak division in the much weaker conference. Is 10+ wins in the cards? It’s definitely a possibility. The only downer in Seattle right now is the JSN injury, but he’ll be back. Soon.
