The Worst Matchup for EVERY playoff Team
Nightmare fuel for every fan base. Enjoy.
If you are unfortunate enough to be a fan of one of the five total NBA teams completely out of the playoff hunt right now, I’m sorry. That said, you might land Vic, so that would make the pain worth it.
With roughly 75% of the NBA season now in the books, the playoffs are rounding into shape, and we’re getting close to what the first round matchups will be. While it’s still early, if you’re a fan of any of the teams in the hunt, it’s hard not to check the standings and start to plan the ideal spot for your team.
Well, these are the opposite of those plans. That team you wanted to dodge entirely? They’re your first round matchup. Also, I’m going to try to keep these as realistic as possible. I’m not going to pretend Milwaukee will lost 15 straight and be an 8 seed. I’m also only doing the top 16 teams right now, even though I’m very aware the play-in can change this all dramatically.
With that all said, let’s run through the worst possible R1 series for every team still in the hunt.
EAST
1 Seed Milwaukee: The Miami Heat
Miami will probably reappear on this list, but as an 8 seed, they’d be a particularly bad draw for Milwaukee. The Heat were dangerously close to making the Finals last year, something I think people forget. They can play at any pace, but particularly love to slow games down and force you into bad shots and decisions with their zone. And playoff Jimmy Butler is just evil man. I’m praying for anyone else but Miami if I’m the Bucks.
2 Seed Boston: The Miami Heat
For the same reasons as listed above. The Heat are just a tough out. Boston should be fine against anyone else in this spot, although I will say The Nets would make for a tough series too.
3 Seed Philadelphia: The Miami Heat
loooool I’m sorry I swear I’m not doing this on purpose it’s just true. The Heat beat the 76ers in 6 games last year in the Conf. Semis, and Jimmy has a personal vendetta against the team which never helps. The sad thing is, if Brooklyn keeps losing, this WILL probably be the first round matchup. That’s a yikes.
4 Seed Cleveland: The New York Knicks
The Cavs are in no man’s land right now, pretty much locked into the 4 or 5 seed unless Philly stumbles badly. There’s a very real chance this is the first round matchup, which sucks for them because I actually like them against Miami (for once). The Knicks are on an absolute heater right now, with Jalen Brunson and Julius Randle playing elite basketball. I also think the fact Donovan didn’t end up on the Knicks will be a rally cry for fans at the Garden. I could see Brunson outshining Mitchell, even if just for one series.
5 Seed New York: The Philadelphia 76ers
In the slightly unlikely event the 76ers stumble a bit, the Knicks could end up facing them in a 4/5 matchup without home court advantage. That sounds…bad. Embiid is built for the Garden, and I can already see the stepback game-winner in game 3 to silence Knicks fans already. Harden would give Brunson all he could handle on defense, and Maxey would outshine IQ as a 6th man.
6 Seed Brooklyn: The Milwaukee Bucks
While they may be the 6 seed today, Brooklyn is clearly tanking after the trade deadline. The new team is fun and frisky, but I don’t know how long relying on Mikal Bridges 40 pieces can last. If this team keeps sliding down the standings, they could very well find themselves in the play-in tournament. Worst case scenario, they get the 8 seed against Milwaukee. The Bucks size and shooting would be extremely hard to deal with for this team, and Jrue Holiday would bully every guard on the team. This would likely be a sweep.
7 Seed Miami: The Milwaukee Bucks
To be fair, the Celtics have also gotten the best of Miami these past few years, but it’s definitely been a closer contest. Milwaukee is 2-0 against The Heat this year when Giannis plays, and beat them handedly twice in those two matchups. The Heat just don’t have the size to hold up against Giannis, and with one of the worst offenses in the NBA, would really struggle to keep up if the Bucks are hitting from 3.
8 Seed Atlanta: The Boston Celtics
I’m just being different to be different here, honestly. Milwaukee is a shit matchup for them too. But with Smart hounding Trae Young, and Tatum + Brown attacking their mostly undersized wings, I think The Celtics would make quick work of The Hawks. I can only imagine the things Celtics fans would say to Trae Young, too. Woof.
West
1 Seed Denver: The Golden State Warriors
The West is nuts right now, and the Warriors are 2 games away from being the 4 seed or the 9 seed. If the Warriors slip and somehow end up as the 8 seed, Denver would be in for trouble. The Warriors are the reigning champs, and while Denver is much improved from last year, I ultimately think the Warriors would find a way to rely on their playoff DNA to win. Also, honorable mention to a healthy Lakers team with LeBron back. I don’t think Jokic wants to see LeBron and AD in round one if he can avoid it.
2 Seed Memphis: The Golden State Warriors
I mean, on one hand I’m sure they’d love to face The Warriors just because they never back down from a fight. But the truth? The Warriors own The Grizzlies. Yes, Ja was hurt in the playoffs last year, but the dubs are still 2-0 against them this year, both in games they probably should’ve lost. Ultimately, they just feel like another domino in The Warriors dynasty (like Clippers and Rockets) that could never get over the hump. Also honorable mention to The Clippers. Kawhi would fuck them up over 7 games.
3 Seed Sacramento: Anyone lol
I’m sorry Kings. Genuinely. It’s been an awesome run. But if this team has to face literally any of the teams they’re in the hunt to face right now, it’s not going to end well. The Warriors, Clippers, and Mavericks would all be extremely tough series for them. The Clippers do seem to have a problem with them, for whatever reason, but still. Unless the Kings somehow get their current matchup, The Timberwolves, I’m anticipating a round one exit.
4 Seed Phoenix: The Los Angeles Clippers
Lol. So many things here. Russ vs. KD. Kawhi vs KD. PG3 vs. his playoff demons. Chris Paul vs. his playoff demons. This is like karma fighting to see who it can screw over harder. While I think the Warriors are a valid shout here too, I’m just not sure the Suns have the wing depth to hang with the Clippers, and I think Mason Plumlee would hold up well down low against Ayton.
5 Seed Golden State: The Phoenix Suns
Given that the Suns are probably my favorite to make it out of the West, ya, it would be ideal to dodge them. Having to play KD and Booker in round one would be absolutely pain. Also I’m curious how the Bay Area will receive KD now that he plays for one of our fiercest rivals. I don’t think they’ll be as mean as they should be. I want vengeance.
6 Seed Minnesota: The Phoenix Suns
Minnesota has sneakily crept their way up the standings, but if I were them I’d be careful to avoid the Suns. The Suns would have the two best players on the court with Booker and KD, and defensively I can’t see them holding up against all the different ways the Suns can score. Memphis, on the other hand, could be fun.
7 Seed Dallas: The Denver Nuggets
Dallas has less than zero answer for Jokic. No matter what they try to do, he’ll have a better answer on offense. And while I love Luka and Kyrie, and think their potential to get hot could easily win a game by 20+, I think over the course of a seven game series Denver would ultimately come out on top.
8 Seed LA: The Denver Nuggets
The Nuggets have had the Clippers number all season. They even signed Mason Plumlee to try and compete with Denver, but in their one matchup so far with him, it still wasn’t enough. Jokic is just a bully against teams without the size inside to hang with him, and I don’t think Plumlee and Zubac are enough to hang with him. Home court would be huge for Denver in this series. Either way, the Clippers will be a tough out.
