NFL PLAYOFF ROSTER REDO: Drafting The Best Second Chances
After a wild(card) weekend, SIX NFl teams are headed home. But now, 24 of THEIR players get to come back.
The rules for this are easy. There are eight NFL playoff teams remaining, including the six winners and two #1 seeds coming off a bye.
Those teams are the: Chiefs, Eagles, Bills, Niners, Bengals, Cowboys, Giants, and Jaguars.
There were also six teams eliminated.
Those teams are the: Seahawks, Chargers, Dolphins, Vikings, Ravens, and Buccaneers.
This draft is all about redemption for the players eliminated, giving them a once-in-a-lifetime chance to come back from the couch and join one of the remaining contenders.
RULES FOR THE DRAFT:
1. It’s a snake draft. If you don’t know what that means, probably wrong article for you tbh (no offense).
2. Order of draft is determined by worst record, like the actual NFL draft. Jags first overall.
3. Operating in reality here. This is like if guys actually came off the couch to join these teams this week.
4. Injuries still real.
5. ONLY players are eligible. Not coaches. Despite how tempting all 110 pounds of Mike McDaniel looks.
Okay, I think that’s enough preamble. Let’s do it.
ROUND 1
1.1 - Jacksonville Jaguars - Tristan Wirfs, OT
Let’s be honest here. The Jags are lucky to still be alive. The team is not great, and barely won the AFC South in a winner-take-all game against Josh Dobbs. It took the Chargers Chargering at historic heights to even be in this position at all. The team needs help in lots of places, and there were a lot of directions to go with this pick, but with starting tackle Cam Robinson hurt and Chiefs DT Chris Jones playing his best football of the season, I want to make sure I’m giving Lawrence as much time as I can to keep us in the game against the Chiefs and Mahomes.
1.2 - New York Giants - Justin Jefferson, WR
This is another team that needs a lot of help. Their defense is atrocious, and against Philadelphia, we’re going to need all the help we can get here. But that said, the WR injuries have been brutal, and Justin Jefferson completely changes the dynamic of this WR room. Having a true #1 (literally the best #1 in the league) with the offensive genius that is rolling around in Brian Daboll’s big old noggin was just too tempting. I think Daniel Jones is good enough to hang with the Eagles if the Giants can turn it into a shootout, and Jefferson will go along way for matching the Eagles firepower on offense.
1.3 - Dallas Cowboys - Derwin James, S
Now we’re starting to get into the better rosters. Dallas still has some holes on their roster that they’d love to plug, and none is greater than at safety, where the Cowboys are particularly vulnerable against shot plays. The Niners have a billion and a half skill players to worry about, so who better to draft than the guy who could hold his own in a matchup against them all? James can blitz, he can cover, he can stuff the run. He’s truly one of the best players in the entire NFL, and paired with Micah Parsons, the Dallas defense might be able to hold the Niners under 30 points and squeak out a win.
1.4 - Cincinatti Bengals - Christian Darrisaw, OT
The Bengals are STOKED to get Darrisaw here for a couple of reasons. One, you could argue Darrisaw was just straight up better than Wirfs this season. Two, the Bengals are hurting badddd at the tackle position, and getting one of the best in the league will go a long way to keeping up with the Bills pass rush on Sunday. Darrisaw was an absolute tank for the Vikings all year, especially in pass protection, and would be a huge upgrade for the Bengals over Jackson Carman, the young second stringer that the Ravens absolutely abused in their first round matchup.
1.5 - San Francisco 49ers - Joey Bosa, DE
What do you give the richest guy (or girl) you know for Christmas? The Niners are overflowing with talent at every position, almost to a point where there are too many mouths to feed. There are very few holes on the roster, and so we’re making this pick with “best available” and “fit” in mind. Joey is the brother of Niners’ DPOY edge Nick Bosa, and likely knows a little bit more than someone else off the street about their scheme. Opposite N. Bosa has been Samson Ebukam, whose actually been really good, but there’s no such thing as having too many good pass rushers. This pick also prevents J. Bosa from falling to the Bills, which would’ve been an easy pick for them.
1.6 - Buffalo Bills - Tyreek Hill, WR
This is another questionable pick. There were a lot of routes to go here, including some that would’ve addressed higher areas of need (OT maybe, DE/OLB maybe), but the value of Tyreek Hill here is just impossible to pass up. Tyreek would immediately slot into the Gabe Davis role, and the thought of Josh Allen’s howitzer of an arm launching deep balls to Tyreek the second he sees man coverage is just too tempting not to actualize. With Tyreek clearing the safeties out, Stefon Diggs would be free to operate underneath, too. This would help Josh Allen immensely, and hopefully some designed short yardage plays could take the burden off of his shoulders for carrying the offense.
1.7 - Philadelphia Eagles - Roquan Smith, LB
The Eagles have a similar problem to the Niners, or in other words, their roster is literally too good. And while some (not me!) would argue they could upgrade at QB here, I’m grabbing the second best linebacker in the league to support one of the few weak spots on an overall amazing roster. After all, what are my other options? The offense has been fantastic. The D line, even with injuries, has held its own all season and been an absolute sack machine. They have two (!!) all pro worthy corners in James Bradberry and Darius Slay. And realistically, this team is plenty good to beat the Giants as is. So I’m adding Roquan both for positional need, and to help me cover against the Niners in the next round, assuming they beat the Cowboys.
1.8 - Kansas City Chiefs - Khalil Mack, DE
With the first of back-to-back picks, the Chiefs are going to add a huge boost to their defensive line with Khalil Mack. On the interior of the line, Chris Jones has been an absolute monster over the last 6~ weeks, but he needs help on the edge. In the AFC especially, I want guys that can get to the QB and put pressure on the offensive line so whoever I’m playing (Trevor Lawrence, Joe Burrow, Josh Allen) can’t stay comfortable. Mack may be old, but he’s still one of the most dominant forces in the league, and as an added luxury for the best team in the NFL he completely changes how opponents would have to view the Chiefs’ pass rush.
ROUND 2
2.1 - Kansas City Chiefs- Lavonte David, LB
Look, Nick Bolton, despite an amazing statistical season, is just not at the same level as Lavonte David. Beyond that, David gives this Chiefs defense a true leader and captain, and even with one week to catch up on scheme, I think David could transform how this defense performs particularly against the run. The playoffs are all about tackling, especially in space, and there are few defenders I trust to make an open field tackle against some elite competition than David. Best of all? He’s been to the mountain top before, against THIS offense (with some key differences at the time). He’d provide excellent insight for the coaching staff as far as game planning to “stop” their offense.
2.2 - Philadelphia Eagles - Jaylen Waddle, WR
I’m not going to repeat myself too much, but just reiterating that the Eagles are a very, very good roster. With so few holes to worry about, we’re adding to an area of strength, but not an area of depth. The top two WRs for the Eagles have been some of the best in the entire league. AJ Brown relies on superior size and speed to make elite, explosive plays. Devonta Smith has some of the best hands and route running in the league, full stop, and is also surprisingly good in contested catch situations. Besides those two guys, though, there really isn’t much. I’m adding Waddle here, as his speed adds yet another wrinkle to the offense for defenses to worry about, and even if he gets 10 snaps in this week’s game, they’d be 10 high impact snaps.
2.3 - Buffalo Bills - Christian Wilkins, DT
The Niners stole Joey Bosa from the Bills here, who are missing Von Miller pretty badly since his injury. The Bills D line is still very deep, but it lacks an elite talent that is consistently making high level plays. With their secondary finally healthy, and the Bengals offensive line severely banged up, I’m going Christian Wilkins here. Wilkins did his best Aaron Donald impression, particularly to close the season, dominating the interior line, while being an equally impressive force against the run and pass. With Wilkins anchoring the line, and torturing the weak Bengals interior, the Bills might be able to bait Burrow into some old bad habits and take 5+ sacks.
2.4 - San Francisco 49ers - Justin Herbert, QB
YESSIR. I’m doing it. C’mon, man. Big (derogative term for chicken) Brock has been a revelation for the 49ers, but I hate to break it to you, the Niners are kind of the definition of “a monkey could do your job” when it comes to QB. Purdy has been fine, but the true brilliance is in Kyle Shanahan’s scheme and the wealth of playmakers they have at their disposal. Would it be risky to bring in a new QB on a week’s notice? Sure. But you know what? Herbert doesn’t even need to start. He can backup Purdy, and as long as the Niners don’t fall down big to the Cowboys, you wouldn’t even need to worry about playing him until the NFC Championship game. And yes, I can’t believe I even have to say this, but Herbert would UNQUESTIONABLY be an upgrade.
2.5 - Cincinatti Bengals - Terron Armstead, OT
I mentioned the Bengals offensive line is really really bad? It’s REALLY, really bad. Both tackle spots have been a mess, as well as the interior. The Bengals won’t have a shot against the Bills unless they can protect Burrow and give him time to find his guys, so I’m grabbing another elite tackle to go opposite Darrisaw and completely change the outlook for this line. With those two guys holding it down, I feel much better about my chances against the Bills. And hey, who knows, maybe we’ll even be able to run the ball a little bit (probably not).
2.6 - Dallas Cowboys - DK Metcalf, WR
Remember when Amari Cooper was traded for a 4th round pick, and then Chase Claypool was traded for the 32nd pick OVERALL. Good times. Anyway, Dallas has been able to get away with it, kind of, due to elite play from CeeDee Lamb and a relatively weak schedule. But now they have to face the Niners, who not only can score 40 on anyone, but have an elite defense to boot. If the Cowboys are going to keep pace, they need another receiving threat, badly. DK compliments Lamb really well, giving the Cowboys a better option in both the screen game, and for deep shots, while still allowing CeeDee to work his intermediate routes and be the YAC monster we know and love.
2.7 - New York Giants - Tariq Woolen, CB
There are literally just too many holes on this roster, particularly on defense, to try and address with one player, so I’m taking an extremely high-upside risk here with the Seattle corner. My reasoning? I think the only chance the Giants have against the Eagles is if this game turns into a shootout. The Giants defense can’t, and won’t, keep pace with all the birds’ weapons. That means two things. One, offense has to keep up (hence JJ). Two, we need some mf turnovers, man. Woolen is a big play on defense waiting to happen, as he shared the league lead in interceptions with three safeties. Do I expect him to play elite coverage against AJ Brown? Maybe not all the time. But his big body could cause trouble, and most importantly, he might make a game-changing play.
2.8 - Jacksonville Jaguars - Marlon Humphrey, CB
I really, truly, believe the Jags can hang with the Chiefs as an offense. I love how Doug Pederson calls plays, I think Trevor Lawrence is a top 7 NFL QB (fight me), and I think the weapons, while maybe not the sexiest, are actually pretty underrated and more than competent. So that leaves the defense, which is going to need some help if we’re going to keep Mahomes in check. Tyson Campbell had a good year for the secondary, but beyond that, the unit needs a lot of help. I’m adding Humphrey to help in coverage, mainly because I need guys that can stick with receivers while Mahomes is breaking the pocket and extending plays with his legs. Humphrey is also good against the screen game, which Andy Reid loves to lean on. And of course, I get a second pick here, too.
ROUND 3
3.1 - Jacksonville Jaguars - Antoine Winfield Jr., S
Back on the clock in Florida, and we’re staying right here in the secondary. I’m adding Bucs safety Antoine Winfield Jr. as a ball hawking, hard hitting safety to try and make plays when Mahomes puts 50/50 balls in the air, and tackle Travis Kelce in the open field when (not if) he gets loose. Will these additions be enough to beat the Chiefs? Well with their additions, probably not, but hey. It’s a hell of a lot better than the roster that needed all 60 minutes to win their first playoff matchup.
3.2 - New York Giants - Marcus Peters, CB
It’s been a run of secondary players, and the Giants are happy to still land a premiere talent in Peters here. As I mentioned with Woolen, I want guys that are going to make a big play, and few players in their career have made more game-changing plays in the secondary than Peters has. With the addition of these two guys, Giants Defensive Coordinator Wink Martindale can do what he does best: send the house and pray you sack the QB or force a bad throw. With this new improved secondary, that bad throw could turn into a game-winning pick six.
3.3 - Dallas Cowboys - Danielle Hunter, DE
The Cowboys have already used this draft to boost their secondary, as well as their WR room. One last area of need is the defensive line, which, while not a weakness, hasn’t been a strength. Hunter is an elite pass rusher, and with Purdy showing some cracks in the armor with some pretty poor throws, especially in the first half against Seattle, I’m really looking to put the pressure on the young Mr. Irrelevant and cause some turnover worthy throws. This would also take some of the weight off of Parsons, allowing the Cowboys to save his energy for more crucial downs.
3.4 - Cincinatti Bengals - Jamel Dean, CB
That’s six straight defensive players, for those counting at home. The Bengals skill room is arguably the best in the league, so nothing needed there. And with their O line now patched up, I can focus on the defense. Lou Anarumo has been one of the best Defensive Coordinators in the league over the last two years, notably with his second half adjustments. The Bengals are noticeably thin at corner, and with Eli Apple now hurt, I’m giving Lou a little help by adding a top 10 corner in Dean. I don’t think this is a transformative pick by any means, but Dean would immediately become the best corner on the roster by a wide margin, and give the Bengals a solid man corner to contend with Stefon Diggs.
3.5 - San Francisco 49ers - Tyler Lindenbaum, C/OG
Look, I’m grasping at straws here. This roster is insanely good, top to bottom, but their interior offensive line is definitely one spot where they could use a little extra help. Lindenbaum is a super small, mobile center and has come in immediately as a rookie and made a huge impact. His comp coming into the draft was Jason Kelce, and while being compared to a first ballot Hall of Famer is insane, he hasn’t looked completely far off. He’s noticeably great as a puller, and would add another element to the Niners insanely dynamic run game. It’s rare to say OL is fun, but this is a fun pick for an already fun team.
3.6 - Buffalo Bills - Uchenna Nwosu, DE
Nwosu hive stand up! No? Just me and the entire city of Seattle? That’s cool. Nwosu was arguably the best player on Seattle’s defense start to finish, and helped a pretty bad defense look…not as bad? He’s the best pass rusher left available from the teams heading home, and the Bills still are looking to get pressure on Burrow, even with their new all-star additions at tackle. Nwosu would immediately become the best pass rusher on the roster, minus the injured Von Miller, and help keep the rotation fresh as the Bills usually like to give at least 6 defensive linemen heavy snaps, if not more.
3.7 - Philadelphia Eagles - Justin Tucker, K
Lol. Is this a meme? Maybe. Would they actually do this? I kinda doubt it. But while Philly’s kicker, Jake Elliot, has actually been pretty reliable inside 50, he’s rarely taking kicks outside of that range. He’s 65% on kicks longer than 50 yards, averaging just over 3 of those made per season and has made 19 total. Compare that with Tucker at 71%, and his 57 makes from 50+ (9 this season!), I think it’s pretty obvious you’re making a huge upgrade. Also Tucker has ice in the veins man. Nothing feels worse than losing your season because of a kick, and I can tell you, Justin Tucker isn’t letting his leg lose your season.
3.8 - Kansas City Chiefs - Mike Evans, WR
This is just rude. I wanted to add an elite WR here, literally just because. Had Tyreek not been taken, I would’ve taken him in round 1, but DK felt like a reach with our first two picks. So anyway, here we are, taking who I felt was the best weapon to add to this offense. Keenan Allen is amazing, but redundant with what Kelce and JuJu are doing. Evans adds a field stretching, contested catch making, big body WR1 that, at the very least, can clear our safeties for Kelce to run amok underneath. This would honestly be insane lol, but at the same time, they had Tyreek Hill before. Again, THEY HAD TYREEK HILL BEFORE. Insanity, man.
Alright! That’s the draft. Did I miss anyone? Did I reach for someone? Comment with your wrong opinions below.
